Posts in Dreams
Dream Books

Yesterday...
I began the dismantling
of Milt's books from his home office...

DSC01136

Last night,
I dream that I’m standing in Milt’s office
with Gerry and with Milt.

DSC01129

I’m showing them
the unusual books that I found,
and I’m so glad Milt is there
to explain some of them to us.

DSC01138

Milt hands me a bundle of hand-written notes,
in my handwriting...

DSC01131

They were from a newsletter,
years before,
about the labyrinth and the heart...

DSC01132

I remind him that he had promised
to get them published for me...

DSC01133

I place them
with the other special books that I found...

We go into the kitchen,
Orin is there
and Gerry looks at me,
with that look that knows...
as he peels back a torpedo onion...
The look that only friends can share
when they have so much history together...
as they turn the page
and close the chapters of a book...

Read More
DreamsLea Comments
A Winter Dream

DSC00671

As many of you know, these past six months have been the darkest and most difficult days I have ever had to navigate... I still can not believe that Milt is really gone... I find myself waiting for him to phone... or to be there to greet me when I return to our home, as only Milt could do... Please do not remind me that he lives on in my heart or the greater universe... that is a given. It is the physical and human stark reality of his not being here with me on this earth that is the source of the ache in my heart... I do not know that it will ever go away... I do believe though, that I will be able to tolerate this unspeakable place more and more, walking through the world without him, such is the love and support I have around and within me... but I miss my dearest best friend and my love with my entire being. 

So deep is this ache that even my dreams have dried up, that is until this trip to Colorado. It has been so long since I've had real dreams, the ones that take me places... and leave me wondering for days about their symbolism and significance to my psyche...

I dream that I am in the forest with a group of people and a Mexican shaman. As we travel along the path the trees begin to take on a vibrant light of colors, the colors of the chakras… The yellows, oranges, and reds give way to vibrant silver and gold. I go up to one of the gold trees, as I am in awe and so curious about these long, and what I discover are large hollow pods, growing on the trunk of the tree. They are hard to the touch, almost like some sort of container. Most are full of water. As I touch them, I can see that the water level in some are as high as where there is a hole or opening. It is so beautiful.

The scene shifts and I find that we are now standing on a busy street corner in a large city. I am told that we each have to do role acting with the shaman. Somehow, I discover that I am to be the first. The scenario is that he has just stolen $35,000.00 from me. What am I to do? I begin thinking… if money manifests from within me, then this money can easily be replaced. It is not about the shaman, or Pedro as I find myself calling him, but something that has occured between us. Something for me to know and move with, as consciously as I possibly can. I do know that if I accuse him of stealing from me with anger, then he will take off and there will be a scene. I wonder to myself, why did he take it? Maybe he really needs it? With these thoughts going on inside of me, we begin interacting. I say, hey Pedro, I bet you could use some money, I reach into my left pocket and hand him $200.00. As we walk along together, I then reach into my right pocket and find that “my money” is missing. I know, of course, that Pedro took it. I say, hey man, what gives? You’ve been my friend since we were children, why did you take the money? What is going on for you? There is a point where it looks like Pedro is going to bolt, but instead, my inquisitive and caring gaze, without accusations, but stating the truth, causes him to pause and stay connected to me. In this moment, there is this palpable and deep connection between us... that is when I awake…

I awake and find that it is the feeling of the dream that stays with me... This is a true Christmas gift to me... to have this dream-time connection once again with the vivid vibrancy of my unconscious... It is my hope, that in sharing this dream with you, that in its telling, something will also ring true, and be a gift for you as well...

A Blessed Christmas,
this 25th day in December 2010,
to you all...

Read More
About Lea, DreamsLea Comments
Roses, Ceres, Dreams, & Mothering Day
This time of year...
our Cecil Brunner roses are a fountain of glory...

DSC01466

Every year
I make a nosegay of them for my mother...

DSC01440
Now,
more than ever,
I am so appreciative to be able to place them
into her loving hands...

This morning I wake to this dream...
they type of dream that will not let me forget...

I dream
that you are all lost in an instant…

A car wreck

and the three of you,
my family,
are no more…
Devastation tilts my world

this emptiness so huge,
that if I can only
step inside its largeness…
then I will be in the womb
of the great mother of all…
This yawning cavern of grief,
this darkness all consuming
is in itself
a pinprick of light
where I stand alone
surrounded by a space so infinite
no words can carve out
a crevice for me to crawl beneath,
on top of,
or further in…
Where are you Ceres on this day of mothering???
I cannot be Persephone
for I am too old…
time has taken me places

I never imagined
and I feel the waning of my
chance to be mother
and the shrinking of my womb
as I watch the lines on my face
deepen,
moving me ever closer to the precipice of death…

I wake this morning
to these musings…
My father, sister, and mother are truly here…
but the landscape has changed
and raindrops and rays of light
fill the palms of my
upturned and empty hands…

I turn and step into

mothering this new-found space
inside...

Read More
Phone Call Dreams...
DSC04399
Life is indeed so full...
that I can't seem to get myself to the computer!

So many things to write about, show, some new learning curves to get to where I want, and that pull from outside... so I keep following the momentum and it isn't at the keyboard!!!!

I miss bloglandia...
so much so, that I'm dreaming of my blogging friends...

Last night I dreamed that I missed a phone call from eb!!!! The "can't reach you" message showed up on my (dream) computer screen... as I tried to call her back, I woke up...

I woke up, and instead of a complicated post...
here are a few lines and a
picture of another of Lucille's amazing creations sitting in my sweet mom's kitchen window...

Oh how these little guys so delight me!!! Peeking out at me from here and there!

Is there anything surprising you???

Have a great week and I will see you soon!!!

Read More
Earth Dreams

Lots of dreams last night...

And lots of earth...
moving earth,
rich dark soil,
shovel after shovel,
truck load after truck load...

I find in my dream that our entire front yard
has been covered in earth,
no plants show,
just smooth, soft, crumbled earth...

I awake to find our yard still a verdant glory...

DSC03565

with diamonds of rain lacing each branch...

DSC03566

set on fire in the morning sun peaking through the clouds
between torrential downpours so welcomed...

DSC03568

And instead of a bare tree filled with more earth,

DSC03569

I find plum blossoms...

DSC03571

and a doorway from the dark into the light of day...

DSC03576

Read More
Dreams, Our GardenLea Comments
Imbolc 2009

Imbolc...

The mid point between the Winter Solstice
and the Spring Equinox...

This weekend, I dreamed...
that we were given all these pure white, fluffy bunnies...
with pink noses...

DSC03519

These weren't just your average white bunnies...
for these bunnies laid solid gold eggs...

DSC03518

fluffy white bunnies
and solid gold eggs on the eve of Imbolc...

Bunnyegg

How I love the symbolism of my unconscious...
tapping into ancient myths,
planting seeds in the fertile soil of my mind,
for the Spring yet to come... where life springs anew...
beauty birthed and received with joy... 

Photos: White cast bunny from an antique chocolate mold, gold foil egg in our blooming tulip tree, bunny and gold egg together in patch of wild violets.

Read More